brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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