call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
tell me about the eggs
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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