Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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