how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
