How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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