Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
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Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
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ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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