good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize