Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
