A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
