i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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