I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
