Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
