Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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