True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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