so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
