her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
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Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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