kristin has been a bad kristin
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
