Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
