apparently the secret to your success is patron
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Im part way to drunk.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
