What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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