allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize