Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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