Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
