I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
