all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
