Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
