tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
