So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You're like the curious george of whores
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
