Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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