we have officially lost it.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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