I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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