Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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