i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
