if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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