she looked like the before picture.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
