we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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