And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
