Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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