Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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