At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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