I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
