I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
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It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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