She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
