On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize