Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
