When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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