Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
