i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Your cock deserves a montage
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
