New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
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im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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