I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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