He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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