Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
