at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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