If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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