I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize