I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize