4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
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Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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