if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
